The Miss American Lady pageant declares its winner as shocking truths come to light, and Patty embraces her inner self, much to Bob's dismay.
- Dallas Roberts as Robert "Bob" Armstrong, Jr.
- Debby Ryan as Patricia "Patty" Bladell
- Christopher Gorham as Robert "Bob" Barnard
- Sarah Colonna as Angie Bladell
- Erinn Westbrook as Magnolia Barnard
- Kimmy Shields as Nonnie Thompson
- Michael Provost as Brick Armstrong
- Irene Choi as Dixie Sinclair
- Alyssa Milano as Coralee Huggens-Armstrong
|Season one episodes||Pilot • Skinny Is Magic • Miss Bareback Buckaroo • WMBS • Bikinis and Bitches • Dunk 'N' Donut • Miss Magic Jesus • Wieners and Losers • Bad Kitty • Banana Heart Banana • Winners Win. Period. • Why Bad Things Happen|
|Season two episodes||Pig • Dead Girl • Boomerang • Poison Patty • Finding Magnolia • Eat and Run • Full Brazilian • Pretty in Prison • Ladybomb • The Most You You Can Be|